It’s December first, our 10 month anniversary and you forgot completely.
Looking back, November was such a depressing month.
It was easily the worst month in our relationship. I don’t think we went more than 2 or 3 days without arguing, and that’s really sad.
Its been a long time since someone induced such extreme and frequent panic attacks in me and where I once came to you for comfort and help I now runaway and hide in pain.
I haven’t felt so low and deserted about myself like I did this whole month of November in a very long time.
So I distanced myself, and built up defense mechanisms.
Where I once loved you unconditionally I’m now afraid to even show any emotions because everything I do isn’t good enough for you ,or gets shot down.
I’ll never forget some of the last words my ex told me, she said “I hope one day you fall in love with someone and love them as much as I loved you only for them to show nothing in return and hurt you repeatedly”.
Well I’ve felt it.
Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches.
Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and
sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes,
the deeper it goes, simultaneously.
The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots.
In fact, it is always in proportion.
That’s its balance."
— Osho (via thedruidsteaparty)
You carry your wound. With the ego, your whole being is a wound. And you carry it around. Nobody is interested in hurting you, nobody is positively waiting to hurt you; everybody is engaged in safeguarding his own wound. Who has got the energy? But still it happens, because you are so ready to be wounded, so ready, just waiting on the brink for anything.
You cannot touch a man of Tao. Why? - because there is no one to be touched. There is no wound. He is healthy, healed, whole. This word whole is beautiful. The word heal comes from the whole, and the word holy also comes from the whole. He is whole, healed, holy.
Be aware of your wound. Don’t help it to grow, let it be healed; and it will be healed only when you move to the roots. The less the head, the more the wound will heal; with no head there is no wound. Live a headless life. Move as a total being, and accept things.
Just for twenty-four hours, try it - total acceptance, whatsoever happens. Someone insults you, accept it; don’t react, and see what happens. Suddenly you will feel an energy flowing in you that you have not felt before."
Osho The Empty Boat Chapter 10
— Nana W. (via remembertosmileyou)